It's all about the "M's"

Wow, can you belive it is almost May and Mother’s Day is fast approaching?  Time is definitely moving on this year and there is a lot to do.  But hopefully mom’s day will be a time for all of my mommy friends to relax and enjoy their children.

M5 mentioned yesterday that Mother’s Day would be here soon and I could see the glimmer in her eye.  It amazes me that she remembers the past years like she does.  Two years ago there was a storm the morning of mom’s day.  Her and daddy had planned on serving me breakfast in bed with a champagne breakfast.  I love my mimosa’s!  But the electric went out.  They still got it done and it happened to be one of the best mom’s days EVER but just without any hot food.  Who cares?  It was the special smile on her face knowing she had pulled something off without my knowing.

Last year M2 and M4 put together an amazing video which brought tears to my eyes.  Another secret that they had worked out with M5 who was actually able to keep the secret.  I have pulled the DVD out several times throughout this year and watched it; still not understanding how my girls really do know me so well!

I have had many beautiful Mother’s days over the years.  The best part of these days for me is knowing how hard my girls are working together on getting along.  They know that it is the most important thing for me, all smiles and sunshine; NO bickering….a hard thing for 4 sisters to not do in one day!  But it always works.

Besides my girls, who are always #1, here are a few of my favorite mommy moments!

#1  The quiet of morning with a fresh cup of coffee, the news and a silent child curled up beside me.

#2  Sitting on the deck with a margarita, a bowl of chips and salsa and the smell of BBQ while husband grills.

#3  Planting flowers in my yard, especially when the girls say they will help.

#4  A call from an old or special friend.

#5  Sunshine and the River or a Lake; anywhere our boat will take us as a family.

What are your favorite mommy moments?  I wish you a beautiful sun filled day with your children on Mother’s Day and many blessings throughout the coming year!

It has been a few busy weeks with the girls.  All of them are growing up so fast and there is so much to do.  M1 is preparing for the birth of her second child; M2 is moving into a new home; M4 is getting ready to graduate high school and M5 is on Spring Break and loving this beautiful weather that God has given us for vacation.  My only wish in life is that M3 could have been with us forever to enjoy seeing and loving her sisters’ lives but we all know that she is our guardian angel and watches over us daily.  We see her love in all that we do and often know when she is by our sides.

It’s probably because of M3 that my heart aches for other parents who have lost a child.  Especially to senseless reasons such as Teenage Bullying.  As I watched the news this morning and heard again the story of Phoebe Prince from Massachusetts who killed herself because of cyber bullying, I couldn’t help but cry for her parents.  There is no reason for this to happen.  Having dealt with this bullying in our family also,  I just had to write about it.

M4 was only in the 5th grade when she started getting harassed at school.  Much like Phoebe, she was the new girl; the “outsider” in a small town of kids who had all grown up together.  I’m not sure what all happened but one day I couldn’t get her to go to school.  She was physically ill from mental abuse.  It took awhile for everything to come out in the open; for her to start to talk to me and tell me what exactly was going on, but it finally did.  Let’s see…there was an instance where the boy who sit behind her in class actually cut out a big chunk of her hair because the pretty girl in the class who did NOT evidently like M4, dared him to.  This pretty girl could get pretty much anyone in that class to do anything she asked.  She mentally tortured my M4 with threats and negative comments on a daily basis.  It was a terrible time in our lives.  Fortunately, or unfortunately as I thought of it, because of my divorce situation; M4 was able to get away from it and go back to the school where she was “liked”.  There were probably 4 main students in this class that I think of on a daily basis — they are all now Seniors in high school, I see many of them on daily basis.  It still breaks my heart to know what a good friend they have missed out on but “running off” the new girl.  Oh, I’m sure they think they won the battle, but they actually lost!  And because of them, I lost several memories also.  Will I ever forgive them?  I know you are supposed to, but NO.  These kids are etched in my minds forever.  I still have the terrible letters they wrote; I can still see their faces.  I wish them well in life but I hope that someday they will look back and realize the pain they not only caused one very beautiful girl but also the pain they caused an entire family!  I hope that they will never have a child which will endure such abuse.

To the school system, who acted like they were trying to fix the situation, I hope they have learned a lot more about teenage bullying over the years since M4 was in the 5th Grade.   I know they remember because someone mentioned to me last week that the “situation” was talked about in a class.  Nine years ago and they still remember.  That is how bad bullying is.  It doesn’t have to be physical, it can be mental and it IS VERY devastating!

To the parents of Phoebe Prince and Megan Meier.  My hearts will ache for your loss everyday.   Tina Meier, Megan’s mom, has done a wonderful job of teaching people about Cyber Bullying.  How terrible that they lost their child to such a senseless act.  Prayers and love to all who have dealt with this problem.  If you think parents do not hurt because of what other kids have done to their children, you are wrong…you can watch Megan’s story on youtube.com  just type in her name. 

I’m one of the “lucky” moms.  My child was able to runaway.  Most kids can’t.

Ok, I haven’t done well keeping up with my blog the last couple of weeks.  But…..it’s cold outside, rainy and snowy and to tell you the truth, it just depresses me and makes me think about nothing!  Not that I never have anything to think about or write about, but it’s just not fun when the sun isn’t shining!

However, last night, my heart finally warmed.  Now I feel like The Grinch, I was all warm and fuzzy feeling inside.  M4 was having her Senior Night at her  high school.  It would be the last night that she performed with the dance squad before moving on to college.  Since I’ve been through 2 senior nights with my other girls; you would think this was old school by now; but not so.

On my drive to Bowling Green, I received a call from M4.  Of course she wanted to know where I was and I reassured her I was on time and only 5 minutes away; but I could since the urgency in her voice.  Asking what was wrong she let me know that her hair wasn’t looking right and she was “ugly” today and she wasn’t going to perform so I may as well turn around and go home.  Now, for those of you who do not have daughters, this is NORMAL!  So I continued on my way, got to school, told her how beautiful she was, how spectacular her hair looked (it always does) and all was good in the world.  Drama……it is a girl thing! 

I thought I would have at least one daughter that didn’t show so much drama in life but so far it hasn’t happened.  And M5, even though only in the First Grade, has plenty of drama going on in her life.  More stories to come, I’m sure, in the life of M5.

But last night, it was all about M4….The first dance was spectacular.  Then it was time for the Seniors to go to the floor with their parents.  I thought this might trip me up a bit; but there were so many of us and it went by so quickly I didn’t have time to think about it….so far,  all is good; no tears!  Then the second dance during 1/2 time of the second game.  The “Senior” dance, only the seniors would be dancing to this and all would be doing solos.  M4 did her Solo, a ballet dance, with poise and grace — all while having beautiful hair and by no means; not being Ugly…..My heart dropped……this was it; my baby from my first marriage was no longer a baby….a tear drop; time to run and get out of there before more could appear.  A hug from M4, an I love you and see you later and I was out of there ! 

On my way home, in the darkness of the vehicle; lots of tears, a squeeze from my husband’s hand and these thoughts……all is good in the world, drama has added stress AND delight to my life which may have been very boring any other way.  I thank God for my beautiful “M’s”…I’m so looking forward to M4 moving on; starting Nursing School and becoming the beautiful lady that I know she will be; a caring, loving person with a heart as big as the moon and PERFECT hair!

The definition of a giggle is to laugh nervously or foolishly ; having the giggles is a fit of prolonged and uncontrollable giggling.  My girls are gigglers which as a group makes them gagglers! 

I would say my best giggler would have to be M4.  This child has the MOST Awesome belly roll around.  And just thinking of the times her contagious giggles have caught all of us off guard; makes me smile.

M4 started really giggling around the age of 3 with the best ones coming between the age of 5 to 10 years old.  And much to my amazement they still occur even at the age of 17!  There have been times in Church when we almost had to get up and leave.  I’m not sure now what would bring on the giggles in Church but for a while they would happen with ease.  One silly sound from someone would make it start; possibly someone singing off cue or coughing when it was quiet would make M4 start giggling.  Of course in Church she would try to quiet her little giggle but once looking at another sister; Game on!  Uncontrollable laughing.  M4’s giggles would start in the very bottom of the belly and just could not stop!  By the time it was over not a one of us could be looking at each other with out continuing to laugh.

Driving down the road, there have been times when I have had to pull over and stop.  M4’s giggles would start in the back of the vehicle and the next thing I knew her little feet would be pounding on the back of my seat because she just couldn’t stop.

The giggles would always  strike when we were some place quiet and were not supposed to be noisy.  Something, who knows what, would strike M4 as amusing and the giggle would start.  The more she would try to stop, the more the giggle would build.   The rest of the family would try to ignore it but once the “look” took place, uncontrollable laughter abounds.   Tears streaming down our faces and shoulders shaking; we would practically be rolling on the ground.  Other’s would look at us wondering what was so funny and I would have loved to have been able to tell them; but there really is NO reason to the insanity.

Nothing means more to me then having all of my gagglers together and sharing these special moments.

I now have the enjoyable job of listening to M5 and her 1st grade girlfriends being gagglers.  M5 has some wonderful friends with excellent belly laughs and laughter in our home is such a blessing on the cold days of winter.

So…..today……Live…….Love….and no matter what …..LAUGH!

Did you know that today is National Hugging Day?  My family is a family of huggers.  We never leave each other without a hug.  I heard on TV one day that a hug each day will add at least five years on to your life expectancy, so I HUG away.  Maybe if I hold on to the hug for more than just a moment it can add 10 years on my life.  No matter what though, we hug each other good- bye each and every morning.  Our voices do not say “good-bye” as we walk away from each other, but “five years” along with a smile is what comes out of our mouths!  It’s a great way to start our day and if things have been hectic that morning; the ‘hug’ makes us all relax as we walk out the door.

I think it is very sad that some people don’t like to hug.  They live in their “don’t touch me” world and are missing so much.  I think it’s sad that our teachers are not allowed to hug our children in school for fear that some people may take it the wrong way.  I can’t imagine what can make a child feel more safe, than just a small hug.  I’m thankful that I can hug my daughters; more thankful that they hug me back!  I’m thankful for huggy friends and very thankful for a husband that loves to hug.

Did you know that there are different kinds of hugs?  Here you go;

Hand-Hug (aka the Reserved Hugger’s Hug)
This is the most common and often shared hug… a simple handshake.
My opinions on this one?  Not good enough!

Side-to-side Hug (aka the Buddy Hug)
Huggers stand or sit next to one another, embracing around the waist or shoulders.  My opinion?  Still not good enough but getting better!

A-frame Hug
Huggers stand about a foot and a half a part, bend at the waist…. only the shoulders touch as you embrace! [May also include a kiss on one or both cheeks. This is the most common, and acceptable, form of hugging in social settings.]  My opinion?  What???? the crap is this?

Back-to-front Hug
Gently wrap your arms around huggee’s waist and embrace. Always let your huggee know you are behind them. [A very sweet way to let your lover know he/she is special. Especially when the hugger’s head is gently laid upon the huggee’s back.]  My opinion?  I “like” this one, it will do….kind of like a surprise attack!

Cheek-to-cheek Hug
This hug requires no arms. Simply face your huggee and press your cheeks together. Face the same way for the Kodak Moment Hug. [Oftentimes accompanied by a hand placed on the opposite cheek of the hugging cheek. This one takes place often among family or close-friends gatherings.]  My opinion?  Not sure about this one…..but my “M’s” do it quite often in pics.

Bear Hug
This is a full body hug. Hugger and huggee are toe-to-toe and belly-to-belly. [If you can slip a piece of paper in between the huggers or see any glimpse of light, it isn’t being done properly!]  My opinion?  I like it !

But my favorite hug has to be the ME Hug;
A great way to start the day and when you need or want a hug. Warm-up your hugging muscles with a real good stretch by wrapping your arms around yourself!  My opinion?  Hey, if you can’t get a hug somewhere else, this definitely works and I always say, you have to love yourself first before anyone else can like or love you!

And, before I let you go,  (**) Hugs, from me to you!!!

I often refer to my girls as “my collectibles” because they are so uniquely different.  If I could put them all on a shelf, they would each be from a different collection.

M5 and I were having a discussion the other day about friendship.  She was talking about one of her friends and referred to her as “you know, my bus friend”.  It got me thinking of how many friends she does have and the differences between all of them; her collectibles.

  There is Sophia, who will always be her “1st friend” because Sophia’s dad and M5’s dad have been friends forever, the girls have been friends since birth.  There is Madison who is her “babysitter friend” because they started their friendship at the same child care taker and have remained friends during school, even though there is a years difference in their ages.  We can not have a birthday party without Madison! 

There is Leah, her sports friend; Leah gives  M5 the determination to play sports even if it is something M5 really doesn’t like; because if Leah can do it; so can she.

There is Kennedy, her dance friend;  Kaitlyn, her bus friend; Morgan, her preschool friend; Kylie, her Church friend.  There is Emily and Megan,  her “older”  friends because they treat her like a little sister.  And tons of other friends that she will always be close to; Emma, Calynn, Bristal and the list goes on and on.  

It made me think about my friends.  My kindergarten friends at Boncl; my friends in Louisiana, MO; my friends at Clopton; my Arizona friends; my work friends; friends that are mine because of my children’s friends; friends that are mine because of my husband; my truly bestes friend, Gail; my supportive friends; my family friends; my river friends…..all, just like my children; my collectibles to put up on my heart shelf and pull down when needed.  When I need a hug, when I need to chat,  when I need to laugh, when I need to cry.  Or just when “I need……”.

Take the time today to examine your friend list.  It’s probably larger with more collectibles than you could ever imagine!  To my friends, I thank you with much love, from the bottom of my heart, for being the people that you are and for sharing your friendship with me.

Many years ago, when my girls were small,  I started buying them each Christmas Ornaments.  I didn’t start with a plan but eventually it worked into that.  M1 would get Precious Moments; M2 started receiving Cherished Teddies; M4 would receive Angels and when M5 finally came along; she became the snowman queen! 

I guess I should tell you that M3 is my daughter Megan.  Megan passed away at the age of 3 days old on Christmas Eve of 1989.  Megan’s story is another one itself and I will write of that when I can find the strength.  But I didn’t want you to think I was numbering incorrectly!  And her three days of life and passing is a VERY integral part of why Christmas is so important to me.

Anyway……These Christmas ornaments have always been my saving grace during the holidays.  If there were one gift I had to buy, it would be the ornaments.  I never really knew if the girls thought they were as important as I did until last year.  M1 through the years has always taken hers with her since she emancipated herself from my life earlier than I would have liked.  But all the others have always been left on MY tree; for me to put up-look at in awe and joy and pack away carefully for the next year.  But last year, M2 asked when she could take her ornaments, the cherised teddies, and many others with her for HER tree.  I didn’t give in…I just acted like I had accidently packed them away…..again.  But this year I couldn’t do that.  M2 has proven that she has become mature enough during the past 2 years for mom to finally let go and so I did; but not without those ornaments going back up on MY tree one more time.

Last week….I slowly took off each ornament; 19 in all…..as I reflected on the years that each one first went up on the tree.  M2 and I have gone through a lot together and the ornaments tell the story.  There were the little ones made in school with her picture; one for Baby’s First Christmas, a pair of ceramic ballet shoes from her time in dance; a little girl riding a trike; a little angel troll with red hair and all those cherished teddies.  Each one dated, each with a special memory.

I have boxed them up in a pretty package and they are here waiting for her to pick them up…of course if she doesn’t do that; they will be back on my tree next year!

Ok, it’s already the 5th day of 2010, where is the time going? As I sit at my computer today; working, thinking about what my daughters were doing, how my husband’s day at work was going; I contemplated why I didn’t make a New Years Resolution and if I had, what would it have been. It then came to me…….start a blog! I love to tell people about my kids, my life, what’s going on; and it always seems easier when I’m writing it down. Not to mention that there are several people on a daily basis that I think I need to pick up the phone and tell them something, BUT, it never gets done. So this is for me and for all of you. Here it is; if you want to know what’s going on, what I’m thinking about today….Check it out —- Yes, my New Years Resolution is to START and KEEP a Blog!